


Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

by HalfwayToHell



Series: The Lightness of Being [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst, J2, M/M, Omega Jared, Omega Verse, alpha verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 04:11:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6408247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfwayToHell/pseuds/HalfwayToHell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared was extremely loud. Jensen was incredibly close. And together their worlds were a claustrophobic cacophony of sounds. After a renewal of hope, Jared finds himself seeing a light at the end of the longest, darkest tunnel, he couldn't be any more relieved that there might be a chance for him to get out. But when Jensen appears to remind him of his "new" life, Jared is anything BUT kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

**Author's Note:**

> Playlist:
> 
> The 1975- Somebody Else  
> A Great Big World- Won't Stop Running  
> Elle King- See You Again  
> Jack Garratt- Fire  
> NONONO- Echo

 

There was an odd moisture in the Austin morning air--more along the lines of displaced--Jared noted as he walked to his firm. The moisture in the atmosphere was so permeable, that when he stopped at a crosswalk, he could feel the water droplets collecting like translucent pearls in his hair as he ran his fingers through the strands, awaiting his turn to cross.

Earlier that morning, before he had departed, Sandy had questioned his strange behavior--if preferring to walk to work instead of driving was really as odd as she had made it seem--but Jared merely shrugged it off. He too couldn’t explain it either and he rationalized that anyone would have to be in a pretty damn good mood to walk nearly ten blocks at seven in the morning in Austin, Texas--or really _ anywhere  _ for that matter.

Aside from the inadequate seep from the night before and the perhaps that most unpleasant cup of coffee he had the displeasure of tasting, he found that he was in a fairly good mood and there was even a determined bounce in his step as he bounded the steps of the Roberts and Hall law firm--taking two steps at a time.

The new spark of conviction rekindled inside of him last night as he laid with Sandy tucked into his arms. After spending restless nights researching and tearing his law books apart, Jared was about to lay down and accept his new role--as well as his fate--as an Omega, but that stubborn nature of his that he had possessed since he was a child irrevocably would  _ not _ allow him to do so. 

The anticipation inside of him coiled and pulled taut, like a twisted rubber band, ready to snap at any moment when he finally reached the front entrance to the building. 

_ If Jensen knew, he’d be furious _ , Jared subconsciously thought to himself. 

He paused then, his hand lingering on the glass door as a new sense of guilt washed over him, temporarily smothering the persistent fire inside of him. Jared couldn’t understand why he felt that way. He asked himself the question of why  _ he _ should care how  _ Jensen _ would feel before he shook his head, ridding himself of such traitorous thoughts and he stepped into the warm building.

A part of Jared truly did not care if he angered Jensen, but then there was this part of him--the new part--that felt like he was betraying Jensen--and he supposed at the end of the day he was.

Jared felt that he didn’t owe the man anything. He didn’t know him. Didn’t care about him. The only thing he did was commit a horrible mistake--both in cheating on his fiance with Jensen and by knotting with him.

Jared did not want that lifestyle. Regardless of whether he was an Omega or not, that’s not what he wanted. He wanted a normal life with Sandy. He wanted to be a lawyer. He wanted to pretend that night with Jensen never happened. 

Jared hoped it was not wishful thinking that by eradicating Jensen from his life he could hide from what he really was--or whatever he was supposed to be. He just wanted his life to return to the way it was  _ before _ Jensen had so rudely forced his way into it. Jared knew, of course, that it would not be  _ that _ simple. 

He could only wish that it was.

The warm smell of coffee brewing and the fresh ink from the printers caressed him as he made his way toward the elevator. After pressing the button, Jared gripped tight onto the railings and closed his eyes. He hated the damn elevator. It always persisted in causing him the worst vertigo imaginable, but Jared had not estimated his time correctly and he would be late if he took the stairs. Not something he wished to risk after receiving his promotion only a few weeks prior. 

Stepping out of the vertigo hell, Jared walked briskly toward his office. He did not get far before he heard a voice call to him. 

“Good morning, Mr. Padalecki,” The secretary--Miss Edlund--greeted him as he walked by her massive wooden desk, giving him a bright smile. 

He stopped abruptly. 

“Good morning, Ann,” replied Jared, pausing by her desk to give her a proper greeting. 

Miss Edlund was in her mid-forties with a plump frame. Her unruly fiery red hair was pinned up in a tight, high bun atop her head, a few curls managing to escape from the iron grip of the plethora of pins weaved into her scalp and the strangulation of the hair tie. She wore an olive green dress with a matching blazer, the hue of her attire bringing out the green in her hazel eyes. 

“A man asked for you a few minutes before you came in.” Miss Edlund pointed with her pen down the hall. “I told him he could wait for you in your office.”

Ice spilled into his veins, freezing his muscles, his blood, his breath, all but his heart which fluttered frantically in his chest like a butterfly trapped in a net, struggling to break free. He struggled to find words for a short while before he dared to inquire, “Did he give you a name?”

The secretary shook her head, her red curls bouncing against her cheeks. “Not a first name, but a last. He said it was Ackley. No wait. That wasn’t right.” Miss Edlund shuffled through the Sticky Notes on her desk and all the while as Jared waited, the panic grew inside of him like an infectious disease before she plucked a bright yellow one from her desk and read, “Ah. Ackles. That’s it.”

Jared’s eyebrows pulled into a tight v. “I don’t--” He stopped himself, quickly clearing his throat and he flashed her a smile. “Thank you, Ann.”

She winked at him, something she often did. “Anytime, Jared.”

Jared loosened and tightened and loosened and tightened his tie about five or six times as he briskly walked toward his office door. The urge to break into a sprint surfaced, but Jared did not want to have any unnecessary attention on him until he got the man out of the building. 

Stepping through the threshold of his office door, he paused. 

The man stood with his back facing him. His fingers brushed against the awards and pictures and law books that were stacked and neatly placed onto the bookshelf on the far end of his office. 

_ Jensen. _

Jared found himself watching him with piquing curiosity, quietly stepping in all the way to close the door behind him with a soft click. His eyes narrowed slightly as Jensen tilted his head to read a few of the framed awards on the shelves before the Alpha shifted over, something catching his attention. 

Jared watched silently as Jensen picked up a framed picture of him and Sandy. From where he stood, Jared could see exactly which photo it was of the many he had of them in his office. It was the picture taken of the day he graduated from Harvard Law. He had one arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close as she kissed his cheek. In the photo, he was smiling, his eyes cast down in shy motion. 

It seemed like an eternity had passed as Jensen gazed at the photo in his hands--and it felt like a millennium as Jared watched him, leaning gently and quietly against the closed door, his back against the wood. 

Jensen finally returned the picture back to its proper place on the shelf. Another image caught his attention. It was a picture of Sandy, just by herself. Jensen tilted his head at the picture before reaching out as if to grab it, but he instead knocked it off the shelf with a careless swipe of his hand.The frame hit the floor with a shattering sound, the sound itself reigniting the anxiety and anger he had previously.

"What the  _ hell _ are you doing?" Jared hissed as he stormed over. He stooped to pick up the frame, the glass cracked and shattered into a million glittering diamonds against the photo.

"Spring cleaning," replied Jensen with a nonchalant shrug and there was a glint in his eyes that Jared happened to catch before it vanished caused his jaw to clench.

He turned away from Jensen to walk over to the trash can, tossing the broken glass pieces into it before he laid the frame on his desk. Jared faced the Alpha again.

"No. What are you  _ doing here? _ " Jared repeated, the sharp anger still prevalent in his tone.

The mischievous aloofness that was present in Jensen's demeanor quickly altered one of professionalism and authority, to which Jared was not prepared for. "We need to talk."

Jared leaned against the edge of his desk, folding his arms across his chest and cocked an eyebrow at the Alpha. "Seems that we're both on the same page."

There was a slight faltering in Jensen's appearance that Jared was able to catch before he recomposed himself. It was shock with an underlying of...fear? Perhaps fear wasn't the correct word Jared would use. Maybe anticipation. Or awareness. Or a preconception of some kind that something is going on or that perhaps Jensen was surprised that Jared too felt the need to speak with him.

Either way, Jared was deadset on this getting resolved--regardless of the battle wounds that either of them would have to carry.

"What is it that you'd like to speak to me about?" Jensen inquired after a long while of tense silence between the both of them.

"Well since you felt the need to invade my work space, I guess I will speak first," Jared began. His nerves jumped and twitched beneath his skin as the anxiety settled into his muscles and his bones once more and he found his nails digging into his arms to keep his tone in his voice level, keeping it from quivering like the rest of his body.

" _ This _ ," He motioned between them. "Is not happening."

Jensen tilted his head at him, his eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"

Jared ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands to release some of the pent-up anxiety. He wanted this conversation to happen much more professionally, but Jared had the heavy inkling sensation in his gut that that  _ is not _ how it was going to happen. 

Bluntly, he stated, "I'm not your Omega."

A kaleidoscope of emotions flickered across Jensen's eyes: shock, anger, confusion--but the one that caused a pinprick of ache in Jared's own chest--an ache he couldn’t explain--was the  _ hurt _ that he was able to catch before a hard glaze took over the pine irises. 

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you came to me,” Jensen said, his voice as flat and sharp as an edge to a blade, cutting.

A burst of anger--like rushing water breaking through a dam--danced across Jared’s shaking nerves. “ _ You’re _ the one who forced your way into my life! I don’t even know who you are or--”

“But apparently you knew me well enough to knot with me.”

The chill in his tone caused Jared to stop, his eyes wide with audacity and his lips were parted in shock and he was  _ appalled _ by what had just come from Jensen's mouth. Later he would realize that it was not entirely fair of him to become angry when he too was participating in low-blows. But as of this moment, that was not something that occurred to him right then.

"Get out," Jared growled, his voice low in his throat. 

Either Jensen had not heard him or did not process what he had said yet--or perhaps he just did not care--there was another burst of anger. This time, Jared lashed out, knocking the lamp from the corner of his desk. It landed with a shatter.

"I said.  _ Get. Out, _ " Jared seethed. His muscles trembled and he clenched his hands into fists to prevent them from lashing out. This time, it might not be at an inanimate object--might be something with a beating heart and something very much alive standing a few feet away from him. 

Another flicker of hurt flitted across Jensen's facial features but Jared did not receive the opportunity to feel anything from it before his door opened. Miss Edlund stuck her head in. Her eyes first moved from the lamp onto the floor, then to Jensen then toward Jared. 

"What in God's name is going on in here?" She asked, her voice edging on shrill. Miss Edlund turned her eyes on Jared. "Do I need to call security?"

Before Jared could speak, Jensen interjected with a smile and said, "Not at all. I was just leaving." 

At first, Jared thought he was heading toward the door, but instead, Jensen stopped in front of him. When Jensen reached out, Jared found himself flinching away then a moment later wondered why he had. The Alpha's fingers were at his tie, retightening it and his eyes lifted to meet Jared's. 

"We'll continue our conversation later." 

The way in which Jensen had said it, made it more of a promise than anything else. He reached out once more to touch his knuckle gently underneath Jared's chin before he turned away and headed for the door. 

As Jared watched his retreating back, he couldn't help but feel a bit conflicted. Part of him wanted to call out to Jensen and tell him to come back, either because he felt guilty that their conversation had gotten way out of hand or that there was another reason--a more personal reason--that he had not explored and so he couldn't quite explain it yet.

But it was his stubbornness that forbade him from calling out to the Alpha at all.

A throbbing started in his head and Jared pinched the bridge of his nose. Far too many emotions filtered through him like sunlight coming through a stained glass window: red for anger, blue for guilt, green for exhaustion...and then a pearl white to replace the one emotion he couldn’t quite place.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call security?” Miss Edlund asked gently.

Jared turned his attention onto her and gave her a quick smile. “No. I don’t think you’ll have to worry about him coming back.”

Miss Edlund nodded.

She was silent for a long while. It seemed to him that there was more that she wanted to say in the way she fidgeted by the door. Her silence spoke louder than any words she could have wanted to say in that moment. 

“Really. It’s fine, Ann,” Jared reassured her. “I’m fine.”

Miss Edlund nodded once more before she asked, “Do you need any help?” She motioned with her hand to the broken lamp lying discarded on the floor.

“Ah--no. I’m fine. Really.”

She silently nodded again.

“If you say so, Mr. Padalecki.” Resigned, Miss Edlund gave him a half smile before she turned away, shutting his door with a soft click.    

Once she was gone, Jared gave a loud exhausted sigh, running his hands over his face. After a little while of sitting on the edge of his desk, his eyes closed and his face tucked into his hands, he moved away from his desk to toss the broken lamp into the trash. 

He seated himself behind his desk. Jared’s hazel eyes scanned the piles of papers littered with yellow highlight on his desk and small mole hills of books with marked pages and dog-eared corners. 

Jared had never felt that much rage--that much confliction--in his entire life. Whatever it was, whatever these confusing emotions were that swirled inside of him, Jared wanted them gone. The confliction of the emotions made his fingers shake and his knuckles white and his heart shudder in his chest. 

Taking in a deep breath, Jared grabbed one of the books and opened it, returning to his research with a new sense of desperation and ardor.

Something was stirring inside of him. 

Something he was frightened of.

Something that Jensen was responsible for.


End file.
